Internal Instincts

Sometimes I feel like my clients take me for a fool. Yes, I do not fall within their age bracket. Yes, my family life may not have been as horrendous as theirs. But I feel that I can use my common sense, education, and work and personal experience to filter out the bullshit and get to the root of the problem. I have two types of counseling "hats". The first are for clients that are still in denial. Denial is NOT a bad thing. Denial is a protective factor and is needed for people that would have a nervous breakdown if that denial mask was taken away. For my clients in denial, I very cautiously and carefully get their life story, their current problems, how they are coping. If this is the first time they have told their story, I might slowly take away one layer of denial, but i wont shatter their fantasy existence by saying "HEY IDIOT he's beating you" or "HELLO you are an addict, admit it". Of course this is what I say internally, not something I would EVER say outloud.

My next counseling cap is the straightforward-ness. I only use this after I've had a client for awhile I know this is what they need. I may also use this if I feel like this person may not come back. For example, a woman who doesnt see the big deal that her bf put a gun to her head may need me to be straightforward with her. She may need that denial mask ripped off immediately because her life is at stake.

What also baffles me are "normal" people. By "normal" people I mean people that are NOT my clients. They think that what I do for a living turns off once I leave work. I'm sorry to say, but I am a social worker 24/7 a week. There was a point that I hated this and I wanted to leave it at work, but i've learned to leave my CLIENTS at work, but unfortunately, my intuition and social worker eye will always be on. I see a woman with bruises. I know its defense bruises. I know what finger print bruises look like. I know what a slap in the back bruise looks like. I know what a "Clumsy bruise" looks like [coming from an expert in clumsiness]. Please dont sit there and tell me you are having problems with your man, and I ask you about bruises, and you stutter and stammer and tell me you are just clumsy. Get off it. But, I wont take off her denial hat. She may need it. I won't ever take someone's "Ah-Ha" moment away from them. The "ah-ha" moment is the moment your denial cap comes off and you see your relationship for what it is. You see your addiction for what it is. You see the mess that your life has been in for what it is. My job is not to give my client's their "ah-ha" moment, but to help them get there and to help them not loose too much of themselves in the process.