I see the face of innocence and know that this is why I'm here
I hear the anguish in carer's voice and realize that my presence is needed.
I forgot for a minute about the important things in life
Life is not meant to be easy
Life of a social worker was never guaranteed to be fair
I may not have asked for this calling but I chose this path that I'm on
And I chose this career that led me to this living room
The sadness that it is when a 2 year old has lived 2 years of hell
Is a reminder that I must be grateful for all that I have been given and all the love that I felt in my life
My purpose is not to bitch about management, my purpose is the feeling I feel when I look into the eyes of innocence and see nothing but pain.
20 May 2009
17 May 2009
Breathing Excercises
The best way to describe the differences between child welfare in the UK vs US is this: Our pros are their cons, and their cons are our pros.
I have been thrown in a department where cohesiveness and common sense are as foreign to them as to words chav and bloke are to americans. [BTW: Chav- a hoe, Bloke: a man]. As mentioned in my previous blog, there is only 1 manager with a permanent position and the rest are locum. Since they come and go as they please, they really dont have a sense of commitment or responsibility for the welfare of their team.
I am putting that aside however because granted, no social service agency is perfect, especially when it comes to management. The front line workers will always feel like management has no clue, and management will always feel like the front line workers have no clue. It is what it is.
What is alarming to me however, is how high the threshold for abuse is in this country. In the states, if I felt like a child was in immediate danger all I had to do was make a phone call to my supervisor, the attorney, and thats it. The child comes with me. Here? HELL NO. We leave the child in the home, try to persuade the manager to allow us to get a court date, get a court date that is weeks away, and ask permission to the parents if we can take their child in custody. Yes. You read it. We have to ASK THE PARENTS for every and anything. If they dont feel like they can benefit from our services, case closed. My jaw fell to the floor and shattered in pieces when I realized that everything here is about parental consent. I cannot speak, do, touch, see, hear, smell, feel nothing without the consent of the parent. As someone else said it, "we are their professional secretary." Its a croc of shit.
Now, there isnt much I can do about changing the law. As I said before, it is what it is. The reason that Croydon is like this is because there is such a large transient population that they kind of have to raise the threshold b/c if not, we'd have SO MANY children in care. We need to take cultural differences in mind when it comes to corporal punishment.
Put aside the management, put aside the law, the Assessments team is still in disarray. As I reviewed charts I kept reading assessments that made absolutely no sense for the safety and concern of the child. There are are blatant obvious reasons why a child is misbehaving but they havent seemed to make that connection. For example, Ill see two sentences in an assessment that goes like this: "The mother's new boyfriend is said to be physically and mentally abusive to the child. The child has been misbehaving in school and frequently runs away from home. The child states he doesnt not want to go home because his mother does not love him. The mother request for his behavior to improve otherwise she will place him in care" ..........
Let me take a real deep breath here because if I read one more assessment that has that kind of stupidity attached to it, I'm going to scream. It does not take a degree in SW to figure out WHY this child is misbehaving. Yet, the case plans all revolve around making the life for the parents easier. Lets diagnosis this child with antisocial behavior [the UK version of Oppositional Defiant Disorder]. Lets call the police on him when he doesnt come home. Lets put him in counselor. How about we open our eyes and use our common sense in figuring out that this boy doesnt want to go home because his mom's boyfriend is beating him. How about you take your own words and do something with it! I have read so many files that sound like the above and it seems like the obvious deduction of the child's behavior just goes over their heads because we cant piss the parents off. If the parents dont like our assesssment, time to rewrite it!
Another deep breath.
I have so much more to write but I'm starting to feel my blood boil right about now so Ill just save that for another day.
I have been thrown in a department where cohesiveness and common sense are as foreign to them as to words chav and bloke are to americans. [BTW: Chav- a hoe, Bloke: a man]. As mentioned in my previous blog, there is only 1 manager with a permanent position and the rest are locum. Since they come and go as they please, they really dont have a sense of commitment or responsibility for the welfare of their team.
I am putting that aside however because granted, no social service agency is perfect, especially when it comes to management. The front line workers will always feel like management has no clue, and management will always feel like the front line workers have no clue. It is what it is.
What is alarming to me however, is how high the threshold for abuse is in this country. In the states, if I felt like a child was in immediate danger all I had to do was make a phone call to my supervisor, the attorney, and thats it. The child comes with me. Here? HELL NO. We leave the child in the home, try to persuade the manager to allow us to get a court date, get a court date that is weeks away, and ask permission to the parents if we can take their child in custody. Yes. You read it. We have to ASK THE PARENTS for every and anything. If they dont feel like they can benefit from our services, case closed. My jaw fell to the floor and shattered in pieces when I realized that everything here is about parental consent. I cannot speak, do, touch, see, hear, smell, feel nothing without the consent of the parent. As someone else said it, "we are their professional secretary." Its a croc of shit.
Now, there isnt much I can do about changing the law. As I said before, it is what it is. The reason that Croydon is like this is because there is such a large transient population that they kind of have to raise the threshold b/c if not, we'd have SO MANY children in care. We need to take cultural differences in mind when it comes to corporal punishment.
Put aside the management, put aside the law, the Assessments team is still in disarray. As I reviewed charts I kept reading assessments that made absolutely no sense for the safety and concern of the child. There are are blatant obvious reasons why a child is misbehaving but they havent seemed to make that connection. For example, Ill see two sentences in an assessment that goes like this: "The mother's new boyfriend is said to be physically and mentally abusive to the child. The child has been misbehaving in school and frequently runs away from home. The child states he doesnt not want to go home because his mother does not love him. The mother request for his behavior to improve otherwise she will place him in care" ..........
Let me take a real deep breath here because if I read one more assessment that has that kind of stupidity attached to it, I'm going to scream. It does not take a degree in SW to figure out WHY this child is misbehaving. Yet, the case plans all revolve around making the life for the parents easier. Lets diagnosis this child with antisocial behavior [the UK version of Oppositional Defiant Disorder]. Lets call the police on him when he doesnt come home. Lets put him in counselor. How about we open our eyes and use our common sense in figuring out that this boy doesnt want to go home because his mom's boyfriend is beating him. How about you take your own words and do something with it! I have read so many files that sound like the above and it seems like the obvious deduction of the child's behavior just goes over their heads because we cant piss the parents off. If the parents dont like our assesssment, time to rewrite it!
Another deep breath.
I have so much more to write but I'm starting to feel my blood boil right about now so Ill just save that for another day.
12 May 2009
Organized Chaos
Introduction to Social Work is a class undergrad level students must take if they have any desires to continue in the tract of social work, at least at Florida State. In this class, we learned about the history and theories of social work and its home base being the United Kingdom and Europe area. With this basic knowledge, I was under the assumption that practicing this field in the UK would be much more advanced in its ideals and theories than the United States.
Give me a minute while I laugh my head off.
I feel like I have stepped into a time machine and went back 20 years. These people here have NO ORGANIZATION or any clue how to run a child welfare agency. As much as I bitch and complain about Florida's DCF and child protective service agencies, I must say that they know exactly what they are doing to keep children safe. Granted, its only because they need to secure more state funding, grants, and private donors, but at least there is some kind of organization and checks and balances in the system.
First example: In Florida, Child Protective Investigations is just one position. Someone in this position would receive a referral, go to the home in either 24-48 hours, conduct interviews, obtain collaterals, staff with their supervisor and/or attorney, then make a necessary outcome: close the case, transfer to protective services while remaining in the home, or transfer to protective services while [whilst as its stated here] removing the child.
In Croydon? There is a duty officer that makes the intial investigation. There was a time that they could do the investigation over the phone [HOW SO???] but now they are forced to actually go SEE the child and inteview the parents/school teachers/guidance counselors. If they feel they need an assessment, it goes to Child in Need [my team]. We [I] will have 7 days to do an assessment. If I feel like services need to be in place, I'll transfer it to another team that will provide the services. Seeing that I've done DCF in Florida, I can somewhat appreciate the division of responsibilities, but this also causes disorganization and is frankly a waste of time. There is a backlog of cases dating back to... OCTOBER! Yes, OCTOBER. Calls that have come in from October have yet to be investigated. The problem is that the retention in the Croydon staff is extremely hard, primarily because they have staff that are "Locum" which means that they are not permanent Croydon Council staff, but contracted agency staff that can pick up and leave whenever they want. In my team, only the Americans [2 from my group, 3 from the March hires,] 1 South African hire, and 1 supervisor are permanent staff. The rest of the supervisors [called Line Managers] and staff are Locum, which results in turnover to be extremely high.
Throughout the day the other American social workers from the March hire group came in to the office and gave us the nitty-gritty on what it will be like. This is not America, they said. Get that idea out of your head. You're say really won't matter too much because all you are doing is assessing the case, and passing it on to whomever will provide the services. Frankly, this is the reason WHY I chose assessments. I love my profession, I love children, I have an advocacy voice when it comes to abused children, but I cannot take my work home with me [mentally] and I want to leave at 5pm like any normal adult does. This specific team will allow me to do so in that once 5pm hits, I AM DONE.
This afternoon I sat in on a Refocus and Reform group where restructing of Croydon Council was discuss. They are very open to hearing how its done in America and I recommened that they ask us Americans to bring our organizational chart that we use to compare to the drafted organizational chart they are trying to create. I am pleased that she was very open and interested [and genuinely interested] in seeing how its done. She planned a meeting for Friday to speak with us Americans to get our feedback on what she presented and what we are used to back in the States.
Personally, it does not freak me out that there is so much disorganization. My way of thinking is that this is just an means to an end. This is my job, not my life, and I came here to Travel and enjoy the fruit of my labor as much as possible. In the meantime, if I can change and improve the structure of this council, so be it. If I cant, hey, I will at least have tried. Given the fact that all the managers are locum, it was said that once our 6 month probabtionary period is up and if we feel confident enough, we can apply for a manager position. I am not one to stay in a bottom position for too long and I will only stay with an agency long term if I can continue moving up the ranks. I am very pleased that I chose this team, despite the looks of the locals when I stated I am in assessments [the OH CRAP PLEASE DONT QUIT look].
Everything in life is about overcoming challenges and I am not one to back down on a challenge.
Give me a minute while I laugh my head off.
I feel like I have stepped into a time machine and went back 20 years. These people here have NO ORGANIZATION or any clue how to run a child welfare agency. As much as I bitch and complain about Florida's DCF and child protective service agencies, I must say that they know exactly what they are doing to keep children safe. Granted, its only because they need to secure more state funding, grants, and private donors, but at least there is some kind of organization and checks and balances in the system.
First example: In Florida, Child Protective Investigations is just one position. Someone in this position would receive a referral, go to the home in either 24-48 hours, conduct interviews, obtain collaterals, staff with their supervisor and/or attorney, then make a necessary outcome: close the case, transfer to protective services while remaining in the home, or transfer to protective services while [whilst as its stated here] removing the child.
In Croydon? There is a duty officer that makes the intial investigation. There was a time that they could do the investigation over the phone [HOW SO???] but now they are forced to actually go SEE the child and inteview the parents/school teachers/guidance counselors. If they feel they need an assessment, it goes to Child in Need [my team]. We [I] will have 7 days to do an assessment. If I feel like services need to be in place, I'll transfer it to another team that will provide the services. Seeing that I've done DCF in Florida, I can somewhat appreciate the division of responsibilities, but this also causes disorganization and is frankly a waste of time. There is a backlog of cases dating back to... OCTOBER! Yes, OCTOBER. Calls that have come in from October have yet to be investigated. The problem is that the retention in the Croydon staff is extremely hard, primarily because they have staff that are "Locum" which means that they are not permanent Croydon Council staff, but contracted agency staff that can pick up and leave whenever they want. In my team, only the Americans [2 from my group, 3 from the March hires,] 1 South African hire, and 1 supervisor are permanent staff. The rest of the supervisors [called Line Managers] and staff are Locum, which results in turnover to be extremely high.
Throughout the day the other American social workers from the March hire group came in to the office and gave us the nitty-gritty on what it will be like. This is not America, they said. Get that idea out of your head. You're say really won't matter too much because all you are doing is assessing the case, and passing it on to whomever will provide the services. Frankly, this is the reason WHY I chose assessments. I love my profession, I love children, I have an advocacy voice when it comes to abused children, but I cannot take my work home with me [mentally] and I want to leave at 5pm like any normal adult does. This specific team will allow me to do so in that once 5pm hits, I AM DONE.
This afternoon I sat in on a Refocus and Reform group where restructing of Croydon Council was discuss. They are very open to hearing how its done in America and I recommened that they ask us Americans to bring our organizational chart that we use to compare to the drafted organizational chart they are trying to create. I am pleased that she was very open and interested [and genuinely interested] in seeing how its done. She planned a meeting for Friday to speak with us Americans to get our feedback on what she presented and what we are used to back in the States.
Personally, it does not freak me out that there is so much disorganization. My way of thinking is that this is just an means to an end. This is my job, not my life, and I came here to Travel and enjoy the fruit of my labor as much as possible. In the meantime, if I can change and improve the structure of this council, so be it. If I cant, hey, I will at least have tried. Given the fact that all the managers are locum, it was said that once our 6 month probabtionary period is up and if we feel confident enough, we can apply for a manager position. I am not one to stay in a bottom position for too long and I will only stay with an agency long term if I can continue moving up the ranks. I am very pleased that I chose this team, despite the looks of the locals when I stated I am in assessments [the OH CRAP PLEASE DONT QUIT look].
Everything in life is about overcoming challenges and I am not one to back down on a challenge.
10 May 2009
You Complete Me
"When you find the flat that is yours, it will feel like home." This morning I met up with an Italian guy that had a spare room in his house for share. He owns the home but rents out each bedroom and lives elsewhere. So far, there are three other girls sharing the house with one bathroom. Skeptical at first, not really wanting to live like I did in the dorms again but I gave it a chance. I had quickly changed my flat criteria from a 2 bedroom or a large one bedroom to a flatshare so I can enjoy the fruits of my works, have funds to travel and buy pretty things. Its a sacrifice I'm going to have to make but I'd rather be in cramped quarters which will force me to be out and about then living in a large 2 bedroom where I'm comfortable just staying at home.. because I know thats what will happen given my personality.. and given the fact that I'd spent a majority of my pay on my flat.
Mr. Italian man met me on the corner of the train station on his "scooter"... in my mind I imagined an actual scooter I see in the states.. no sir.. this was a motorcycle. He first gave me directions to get to the house and shook his said and said "just get on and we'll go together." Ummmmmm ...... hmmmm.... should I? He saw my hesitation and asked if I had ever riden a 'scooter' before.. I told him no. He asked where I was from, I repied Miami. "and you've never been on a scooter??'. I told him Miami is hot and we like AC cars. He flashed me his smile and said, "dont worry I wont let you scrape the ground." LOL ok.. so I hopped on and off we rode. WHAT A FEELING! My hair was blowing with the wind [thankfully, blowing away from my face], he was chatting up a storm, looking at ME while swerving in and out of lanes. It was such an exhilirating feeling. My next thought: I NEED A MOTORCYCLE!!!! LOL. Freedom and speed are my vices and I just found something that fulfilled both.
He showed me around the house which was nice. It wasnt a wow factor by any means but he definitely kept it up and the girls in the house did their share of cleaning and maintaining the garden. We went up to the second floor where he showed me the room I would be renting. Once again, it was nice, nothing too out of the ordinary. After a couple of minutes of talking he said he was working on a studio on the top floor. My eyes lit up and I asked to see it. We walked up the circular flight of stairs.. he opened the door... and I was home. The studio is GORGEOUS. Wooden floors, flat screen TV, DVD player, private bath, modern kitchen, open windown on the slanted roof, japanese style queen bed.... absolutely beautiful. As I was talking I looked out the window from the kitchen and saw St. Mary Magadelene Catholic Church. I had been looking for the church since I got here and always got lost. I told him I wanted this flat, not to post it up anywhere because it is mine. He gave me his kind smile, said he'll see what he can do and told me he like my "aura" and "presence" and would love to rent it to me. Im sure he was just flirting but WHO CARES!! He did the whole studio himself which is very very very impressive. As I left his house I walked into the church and wouldn't you know, mass was in progress. The choir was singing Ave Maria which is one of those songs that gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. I felt at peace. There is no better feeling than the feeling of being Home. Every since I arrived in England, I have felt at home and felt a sense of completenes. I have truly succeeded in life.
Mr. Italian man met me on the corner of the train station on his "scooter"... in my mind I imagined an actual scooter I see in the states.. no sir.. this was a motorcycle. He first gave me directions to get to the house and shook his said and said "just get on and we'll go together." Ummmmmm ...... hmmmm.... should I? He saw my hesitation and asked if I had ever riden a 'scooter' before.. I told him no. He asked where I was from, I repied Miami. "and you've never been on a scooter??'. I told him Miami is hot and we like AC cars. He flashed me his smile and said, "dont worry I wont let you scrape the ground." LOL ok.. so I hopped on and off we rode. WHAT A FEELING! My hair was blowing with the wind [thankfully, blowing away from my face], he was chatting up a storm, looking at ME while swerving in and out of lanes. It was such an exhilirating feeling. My next thought: I NEED A MOTORCYCLE!!!! LOL. Freedom and speed are my vices and I just found something that fulfilled both.
He showed me around the house which was nice. It wasnt a wow factor by any means but he definitely kept it up and the girls in the house did their share of cleaning and maintaining the garden. We went up to the second floor where he showed me the room I would be renting. Once again, it was nice, nothing too out of the ordinary. After a couple of minutes of talking he said he was working on a studio on the top floor. My eyes lit up and I asked to see it. We walked up the circular flight of stairs.. he opened the door... and I was home. The studio is GORGEOUS. Wooden floors, flat screen TV, DVD player, private bath, modern kitchen, open windown on the slanted roof, japanese style queen bed.... absolutely beautiful. As I was talking I looked out the window from the kitchen and saw St. Mary Magadelene Catholic Church. I had been looking for the church since I got here and always got lost. I told him I wanted this flat, not to post it up anywhere because it is mine. He gave me his kind smile, said he'll see what he can do and told me he like my "aura" and "presence" and would love to rent it to me. Im sure he was just flirting but WHO CARES!! He did the whole studio himself which is very very very impressive. As I left his house I walked into the church and wouldn't you know, mass was in progress. The choir was singing Ave Maria which is one of those songs that gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. I felt at peace. There is no better feeling than the feeling of being Home. Every since I arrived in England, I have felt at home and felt a sense of completenes. I have truly succeeded in life.
06 May 2009
You're such a bitch
There once was a time that I had a filter in my mouth. Only good came out, negative stayed in. As I grew older both personally and professionally I have learned that only giving people good advice was cutting it short. To me, people do need to hear accolades when its due, but they also need to hear their shortfallings to avoid living a fake life. I dont necesarily know when this blunt-ness started in me. Maybe it was that crappy relationship.. maybe its from being a social worker.. I dont know. One of the things we social workers learn in graduate school is to never give advice to our clients; help them find their own way to awareness so it empowers them and strengthens them. What I have found is that since I spend all day biting my tounge, as soon as that work day is done I spend the rest of the day not holding anything back. If I really like you, I tell you all the time. If I think you are being an ass, I'll tell you. If I find a discrepency in your story, Ill point it out. If I know your lying and I can prove it, I will. I can't really control it until its out of my mouth and then I feel extremely guilty because I know I went too far. I dont know if I have burned any bridges in my friendships because people will never really tell me [or anyone for that matter I think] if something that was done hurt their feelings, even if I ask and I know I have. To be polite, they just say no everything is fine. But, isnt that impolite in itself? I think I may be too rash and blunt, but no one really tells me if what I said hurt them to know for a fact. Why is being honest, both with how much we love or like a person, to how much we hurt them or they hurt us something that humans just dont do anymore?
04 May 2009
Resurrection
I've been sitting in front of my laptop for about 5 minutes wondering how I will star this blog...I should feel excited and nervous right? After all, I'm leaving everything familiar and moving to the unfamiliar. I'm starting from scratch from my friendships down to electronics.
I am comparing this departure to my last major departure: college. I was fine and dandy the entire time until the very last second when my family left my dorm and my little sister was balling. This time around, that little sister is in school, as we speak, taking an AP exam that last four hours.. Needless to say she won't be at the airport. Curse the brains of this family. Its both a gift and an inconvenience at times.
Excited? A very small somewhat on that one. I need to stay focused.. don't want to lose or miss something because my excitement has taken over the rationale part of my brain. Excitement is good, dont get me wrong. But excitement is emotions. I need to leave the emotions at the door and stay focused. I need to focus my energies on finding a permanent home, remembering all my co-workers names and titles, learning UK child welfare laws, being comfortable at my new job, and finally making my flat into a cozy home. Once I have all that down, then I will be excited. I am giving myself a month. I adapt very quickly, I am very resilient, and I learn a new job extremely fast so a month to adapt to my job and surroundings should suffice.
Am I nervous? I'm not nervous in the sense of how will they see me, but I'm nervous in that until everything is second nature to me, I will feel like I am not doing it right.
Today is the day where I will finally be on that plane going to London. This journey has been an extremely difficult process. I am so thankful to everyone that has helped me along the way. From my family that has helped with words and finances, to my sorors that have helped by getting me drunk and partying it up when I was feeling depressed about it.
Find me on skype: elenas310@yahoo.com
I'm also on twitter: wwww.twitter.com/elenas310
Until next time...
I am comparing this departure to my last major departure: college. I was fine and dandy the entire time until the very last second when my family left my dorm and my little sister was balling. This time around, that little sister is in school, as we speak, taking an AP exam that last four hours.. Needless to say she won't be at the airport. Curse the brains of this family. Its both a gift and an inconvenience at times.
Excited? A very small somewhat on that one. I need to stay focused.. don't want to lose or miss something because my excitement has taken over the rationale part of my brain. Excitement is good, dont get me wrong. But excitement is emotions. I need to leave the emotions at the door and stay focused. I need to focus my energies on finding a permanent home, remembering all my co-workers names and titles, learning UK child welfare laws, being comfortable at my new job, and finally making my flat into a cozy home. Once I have all that down, then I will be excited. I am giving myself a month. I adapt very quickly, I am very resilient, and I learn a new job extremely fast so a month to adapt to my job and surroundings should suffice.
Am I nervous? I'm not nervous in the sense of how will they see me, but I'm nervous in that until everything is second nature to me, I will feel like I am not doing it right.
Today is the day where I will finally be on that plane going to London. This journey has been an extremely difficult process. I am so thankful to everyone that has helped me along the way. From my family that has helped with words and finances, to my sorors that have helped by getting me drunk and partying it up when I was feeling depressed about it.
Find me on skype: elenas310@yahoo.com
I'm also on twitter: wwww.twitter.com/elenas310
Until next time...
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