ET come home.

When things are unsettled at home, expect for your life to follow right behind it. I've learned that its nearly impossible to carry on a functional day if the home life isn't right. Aside from sightseeing in London, my days working in Croydon have been unbearable. Granted, I dont have any cases yet but the atmoshphere on this floor is thick from the moment the elevator doors open. For some strange reason I have the tendency to work in environments that are chaotic, and not on the clientele level but on a professional level. At Childrens Home Society supervisors lost touch on the amount of work and pressure on the case workers; in Apalachee the Detox unit was the ugly stepchild of the ward; with Florida Therapy Services having Medicaid be my employer was like doing community service hours for the devil; at Refuge House, I was the only Domestic Violence counselor and had about 40 women I counseled which limited the time I can see each one. Here at Croydon Council, I get the eyebrows raised, lips tighten, pity look from other departments when I hear Im in Assessments. It had only been 3 weeks and I absolutely dreaded going to work in the mornings-- and I hadn't even been given a caseload yet. Why was it so terrible? Its a shame to have essentially 85% of the social workers here warn me about management, see social workers in tears leaving a supervision meeting b/c of the degradation she just endured, hearing managers not support their social workers when a parent threatens to go to the media [media and papparazzi are HUGH in the UK and they will chew you up and spit you out quicker than when tasting anchovies for the first time]. One thing I HATE more than anthing in the world are people that are unjust [fits my field huh? I spent my entire adolescence fighting for my rights as a teenager to spend my entire adulthood fighting for the rights of others].

My mind was unsettled because even after work, I went home to a flat that wasnt' really "mine", and still living out of a suitcase. My routine back in Tally was work, dinner, gym, shower, watch tv, talk to the boys [my roomates] and go to sleep. Here in Croydon... its been work, dinner....then nothing...everything here closes at 5pm so I cant window shop or go to the mall [yes even the mall closes at 5pm] The streets are deserted by 6ish and since I dont know the area that well I just dont think its safe to even go for a walk when there are no other souls on the streets.

Finally, finally finally, I moved into MY flat on Wednesday [the one I mentioned previously] and miracously, I woke up on Thursday refreshed, a big smile on my face, and ready to take on the bullshit world of Assessments. Since moving in I have felt rested and ready. Today I was assigned 3 cases to work on and now that my home life is settled, I feel ready and prepared to tackle the many crisis my families think they can't handle on their own.

If you feel your life is unsettled, go home and see whats going on. Home is where the heart is and if your home is not feeling right, neither will your heart.