What people don't understand about being a social worker, is that we hear and see so much injustice, that it becomes numbing. There were a couple of times that I questioned God; why cant my foster baby be blessed with a loving family? why did this man go until age 40 before he tried his first drug, crack, and now he's lost it all? why was this woman given 4 abusive husbands, one that almost killed her? They all ask me, and I wish one day I could give them an answer.
But just when I think I've heard it all...if you're a social worker, I know you've said that too.. just when you think you've heard it all..
I've had the advantage of working at different agencies with different populations. I started in child welfare, transitioned to adult mental health, and currently working in addiction and family violence. If anyone is ever considering a field in social work, you have to start in child welfare, its almost like the "haze" of this profession. You learn SO much, but your treated like crap, you have to memorize a whole bunch of laws and policies, and you cry at least once. You come out smarter, with more confidence, and knowing that if you did THAT, you could do anything !
The difference with what I do now, and what I did in child welfare, is that what I hear is being said by an adult. In child welfare, I never counseled the children so i never brought that up, I left that for the therapist. Everythinng I knew was in court documents that I wrote over and over again, which allowed me to maintain my sanity.. for a while at least. If I had to hear from the 40+ children I had on my case load the abuse they endured everytime Isaw them, I wouldnt have survived it.
But, just when I heard it all, I hear my new client's story and I cried inside. Its been about 6 montsh since I've last felt sympathy for a client [sympathy: bad; empathy: good]. Hearing about the degradation she received as a child brought me all the way back to my last month doing child welfare when my spirit and faith were broken because of all the horrid things my children in my caseload endured. My spirit was broken not necessarily because of what happened at home, but because my agency did more damage than good most of the time. It felt extremely unethical to leave a child in a foster home worse than their own home. Its a feeling like your hands are tied behind your back and you have to scratch your nose so bad you feel like its gonna rip a whole in your skin.
Today, I participated in United Way's Advocate @ Lunch program that was created by United Way's For Young Leaders Only here in Tallahassee. FYLO is a network for young professionals in the area to network with other young professionals [and scope out sexy men in suits-- thats a great motivation!]. This month, we read to children at DickHowser learning center. Myself and this guy named Q, read to six four year olds and let me tell you, it was extremely refreshing to be around four year olds. They were inquisitive, friendly, funny, cute. It warmed my heart. After what I heard yesterday, I am glad I did this today to compensate.
Well I have writers block now, so this post wont get a quippy ending.
But just when I think I've heard it all...if you're a social worker, I know you've said that too.. just when you think you've heard it all..
I've had the advantage of working at different agencies with different populations. I started in child welfare, transitioned to adult mental health, and currently working in addiction and family violence. If anyone is ever considering a field in social work, you have to start in child welfare, its almost like the "haze" of this profession. You learn SO much, but your treated like crap, you have to memorize a whole bunch of laws and policies, and you cry at least once. You come out smarter, with more confidence, and knowing that if you did THAT, you could do anything !
The difference with what I do now, and what I did in child welfare, is that what I hear is being said by an adult. In child welfare, I never counseled the children so i never brought that up, I left that for the therapist. Everythinng I knew was in court documents that I wrote over and over again, which allowed me to maintain my sanity.. for a while at least. If I had to hear from the 40+ children I had on my case load the abuse they endured everytime Isaw them, I wouldnt have survived it.
But, just when I heard it all, I hear my new client's story and I cried inside. Its been about 6 montsh since I've last felt sympathy for a client [sympathy: bad; empathy: good]. Hearing about the degradation she received as a child brought me all the way back to my last month doing child welfare when my spirit and faith were broken because of all the horrid things my children in my caseload endured. My spirit was broken not necessarily because of what happened at home, but because my agency did more damage than good most of the time. It felt extremely unethical to leave a child in a foster home worse than their own home. Its a feeling like your hands are tied behind your back and you have to scratch your nose so bad you feel like its gonna rip a whole in your skin.
Today, I participated in United Way's Advocate @ Lunch program that was created by United Way's For Young Leaders Only here in Tallahassee. FYLO is a network for young professionals in the area to network with other young professionals [and scope out sexy men in suits-- thats a great motivation!]. This month, we read to children at DickHowser learning center. Myself and this guy named Q, read to six four year olds and let me tell you, it was extremely refreshing to be around four year olds. They were inquisitive, friendly, funny, cute. It warmed my heart. After what I heard yesterday, I am glad I did this today to compensate.Well I have writers block now, so this post wont get a quippy ending.
Did I miss something? You going to explain your new client's story or no? I'm intrigued!
ReplyDeleteWell no I dont necessarily want to because I dont want to give any identifying details away just in case.. you never know.. this is such a small world and I dont want to break confidentiality.
ReplyDeleteEver since I lived with you and I worked at that Eating Disorder place I now realize how cruel people can be. It's a good and a bad thing since I like to believe in the innate goodness inside people...
ReplyDelete