Sometimes I feel like my clients take me for a fool. Yes, I do not fall within their age bracket. Yes, my family life may not have been as horrendous as theirs. But I feel that I can use my common sense, education, and work and personal experience to filter out the bullshit and get to the root of the problem. I have two types of counseling "hats". The first are for clients that are still in denial. Denial is NOT a bad thing. Denial is a protective factor and is needed for people that would have a nervous breakdown if that denial mask was taken away. For my clients in denial, I very cautiously and carefully get their life story, their current problems, how they are coping. If this is the first time they have told their story, I might slowly take away one layer of denial, but i wont shatter their fantasy existence by saying "HEY IDIOT he's beating you" or "HELLO you are an addict, admit it". Of course this is what I say internally, not something I would EVER say outloud.
My next counseling cap is the straightforward-ness. I only use this after I've had a client for awhile I know this is what they need. I may also use this if I feel like this person may not come back. For example, a woman who doesnt see the big deal that her bf put a gun to her head may need me to be straightforward with her. She may need that denial mask ripped off immediately because her life is at stake.
What also baffles me are "normal" people. By "normal" people I mean people that are NOT my clients. They think that what I do for a living turns off once I leave work. I'm sorry to say, but I am a social worker 24/7 a week. There was a point that I hated this and I wanted to leave it at work, but i've learned to leave my CLIENTS at work, but unfortunately, my intuition and social worker eye will always be on. I see a woman with bruises. I know its defense bruises. I know what finger print bruises look like. I know what a slap in the back bruise looks like. I know what a "Clumsy bruise" looks like [coming from an expert in clumsiness]. Please dont sit there and tell me you are having problems with your man, and I ask you about bruises, and you stutter and stammer and tell me you are just clumsy. Get off it. But, I wont take off her denial hat. She may need it. I won't ever take someone's "Ah-Ha" moment away from them. The "ah-ha" moment is the moment your denial cap comes off and you see your relationship for what it is. You see your addiction for what it is. You see the mess that your life has been in for what it is. My job is not to give my client's their "ah-ha" moment, but to help them get there and to help them not loose too much of themselves in the process.
19 April 2009
09 April 2009
Knightly In Graphic Domestic Violence PSA
[I cant bring myself to watch this video yet but eventually I will]
http://www.news4jax.com/entertainment/19085893/detail.html/
Knightly In Graphic Domestic Violence PSA
Actress Speaks Up For U.K. Women's Aid Group
POSTED: Friday, April 3, 2009
UPDATED: 12:08 pm EDT April 3, 2009
British actress Keira Knightly is taking on domestic violence at home by participating in a graphic public service announcement.
The PSA, titled "Cut," is posted online (warning: violent content) and is playing on television and in theaters in the U.K. At the beginning of the two-minute film, Knightly appears as an actress who returns home to her apartment to find a blood-stained apartment with a shattered mirror.
A male co-star then appears with a bloodied hand, and just as Knightly looks into the camera and says, "Sorry, we didn't agree to that -- it wasn't in the script," he strikes her to the ground. The actor then proceeds to grab her by the hair and kick her in the stomach several times.
As the camera pulls back to reveal a movie set, the words appear on the screen, "Isn't it time someone called cut?"
The PSA was produced by the U.K. anti-domestic violence group Women's Aid.
"I wanted to take part in this advert for Women's Aid because while domestic violence exists in every section of society, we rarely hear about it," Knightly said in a statement on the group's site. "We may not think we know someone who has experienced domestic violence, but this does not mean that it is not happening. Domestic violence affects one in four women at some point in their lifetime and kills two women every week. Without the services provided by Women's Aid, many more women could be at risk of being killed, yet without donations the charity may not exist this time next year."
The 24-year-old actress also asks for donations to the group "to help save lives."
Knightly has starred in all three "Pirates of the Caribbean" films and the Best Picture nominee "Atonement." She also was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for "Pride & Prejudice."
"Cut" was directed by "Atonement" and "Pride & Prejudice" filmmaker Joe Wright.
Women's Aid is a national domestic violence charity that co-ordinates and supports an England-wide network of over 500 local services working to end domestic violence against women and children.
Distributed by Internet Broadcasting. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
http://www.cutmovie.co.uk/index_2.html
http://www.news4jax.com/entertainment/19085893/detail.html/
Knightly In Graphic Domestic Violence PSA
Actress Speaks Up For U.K. Women's Aid Group
POSTED: Friday, April 3, 2009
UPDATED: 12:08 pm EDT April 3, 2009
British actress Keira Knightly is taking on domestic violence at home by participating in a graphic public service announcement.
The PSA, titled "Cut," is posted online (warning: violent content) and is playing on television and in theaters in the U.K. At the beginning of the two-minute film, Knightly appears as an actress who returns home to her apartment to find a blood-stained apartment with a shattered mirror.
A male co-star then appears with a bloodied hand, and just as Knightly looks into the camera and says, "Sorry, we didn't agree to that -- it wasn't in the script," he strikes her to the ground. The actor then proceeds to grab her by the hair and kick her in the stomach several times.
As the camera pulls back to reveal a movie set, the words appear on the screen, "Isn't it time someone called cut?"
The PSA was produced by the U.K. anti-domestic violence group Women's Aid.
"I wanted to take part in this advert for Women's Aid because while domestic violence exists in every section of society, we rarely hear about it," Knightly said in a statement on the group's site. "We may not think we know someone who has experienced domestic violence, but this does not mean that it is not happening. Domestic violence affects one in four women at some point in their lifetime and kills two women every week. Without the services provided by Women's Aid, many more women could be at risk of being killed, yet without donations the charity may not exist this time next year."
The 24-year-old actress also asks for donations to the group "to help save lives."
Knightly has starred in all three "Pirates of the Caribbean" films and the Best Picture nominee "Atonement." She also was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for "Pride & Prejudice."
"Cut" was directed by "Atonement" and "Pride & Prejudice" filmmaker Joe Wright.
Women's Aid is a national domestic violence charity that co-ordinates and supports an England-wide network of over 500 local services working to end domestic violence against women and children.
Distributed by Internet Broadcasting. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
http://www.cutmovie.co.uk/index_2.html
08 April 2009
Mi Vida Loca
Yesterday morning I got a confirmation e-mail from my contacts abroad to begin making arrangements to arrive in London May 5th-6th. That date has always been on my mind, but it didn't dawn on me until I looked at my calendar that its four weeks away!! I am excited about being there, but then my mind went 5000 miles a minute: my car, my bills, selling my furniture, what should I keep, what should I sell, what should I throw away? Who should I tell, do I tell my family yet? What will they say? I told some friends. When should I give my notice at work? Is this a right decision? What about housing, I want to take my spices [have about 50 cooking spices but maybe I shouldnt] ahhh its so overwhelming, and exciting.
All I know is that I am ready to begin my life in London. I will still be a social worker, specifically in child welfare. My responsibility is the equivilant of child protective investigations in the states which is what I preferred. In and out in 45 days or less. No harboring families for months and years hoping they will change. No more let downs. No attachments. No ON CALL!!!!! They have a separate program that does on call which is beautiful. Once I leave work at 5pm, I am DONE.
My work permit is set for 3 years, with the option of re-applying when my contract ends. Of everyone I have met on community boards and chat rooms, all the Americans stayed and have been there for over 20 years. I can definitely see myself as a Briton. Living a lifestyle where my position is revered, there is culture, diversity, something diffrent to do everyday, easy chance of travel. I learned about myself that I crave consistency in a person, but need diversity in my life.
I am ready for this change. I feel like my Life in Europe will by my ADULT life and I am ready to put my college years behind me.
All I know is that I am ready to begin my life in London. I will still be a social worker, specifically in child welfare. My responsibility is the equivilant of child protective investigations in the states which is what I preferred. In and out in 45 days or less. No harboring families for months and years hoping they will change. No more let downs. No attachments. No ON CALL!!!!! They have a separate program that does on call which is beautiful. Once I leave work at 5pm, I am DONE.
My work permit is set for 3 years, with the option of re-applying when my contract ends. Of everyone I have met on community boards and chat rooms, all the Americans stayed and have been there for over 20 years. I can definitely see myself as a Briton. Living a lifestyle where my position is revered, there is culture, diversity, something diffrent to do everyday, easy chance of travel. I learned about myself that I crave consistency in a person, but need diversity in my life.
I am ready for this change. I feel like my Life in Europe will by my ADULT life and I am ready to put my college years behind me.
07 April 2009
Peace of Mind
This is a great song that explains how a domestic violence relationship can make a person feel, its after effects, and the joy it is to have a loving man in your life. Please listen to the lyrics.
04 April 2009
Dominican/Peruvian/American/Briton
In case anyone wonders why I want to live in the UK
- social reasons: it's a multi-cultural society, highly tolerant of all lifestyles and has low rates of crime.
- employment factors: low unemployment rate (still under 5%), high job turnover rate creating opportunities, typical work week of 35 hours, generous leave, statutory maternity and paternity benefits, 12 public holidays and good salaries.
- economic criteria: 4th largest economy, a strong currency, low inflation (3%), the world's most even distribution of wealth and surprisingly low taxes.
- cultural wants: cultural and historical activities and sites galore; international travel is cheap and easy.
- education needs: sophisticated world-leading education facilities; world famous universities; free state schools attended by over 90% of school-age children with the balance attending private schools.
- healthcare concerns: world-class free healthcare system available to all.
- welfare: a large welfare system to help you out if one of life's disasters befalls you.
- social reasons: it's a multi-cultural society, highly tolerant of all lifestyles and has low rates of crime.
- employment factors: low unemployment rate (still under 5%), high job turnover rate creating opportunities, typical work week of 35 hours, generous leave, statutory maternity and paternity benefits, 12 public holidays and good salaries.
- economic criteria: 4th largest economy, a strong currency, low inflation (3%), the world's most even distribution of wealth and surprisingly low taxes.
- cultural wants: cultural and historical activities and sites galore; international travel is cheap and easy.
- education needs: sophisticated world-leading education facilities; world famous universities; free state schools attended by over 90% of school-age children with the balance attending private schools.
- healthcare concerns: world-class free healthcare system available to all.
- welfare: a large welfare system to help you out if one of life's disasters befalls you.
31 March 2009
Cry me a river
Sadness can take over and make a person forget about all the greatness that this world has to offer. If you think about it, the thing you are most sad about is usually the thing that is lacking the most in your life. For example, I know people that have the same degree of sadness but one person's reason is getting reprimanded at work, and the other person's reason is feeling underappreciated in a relationship. Person A [reprimand at work] may be more sensitive to this than to love because maybe his father was always telling him he wasn't good enough but his mother did damage control by loving him extra. He may become a workaholic not because he wants to make money, but because he overanalyzes every aspect of his duties and spends way too much time on one task to make sure its perfect. Person B [feeling underappreciated in a relationship] may be used to her parents telling her and showing her that they love her, but their attention may have been devoted to another sibling that was of special needs or was a trouble maker.
Sadness is emotionally and physically draining. But please, do not confuse sadness with depression. Sadness is caused by a known reason and its temporary. Its not a chemical imbalance. Depression on the other hand, is characterized by prolonged sadness for no known reason, affects daily life activities, and may be caused by a chemical imbalance. I tell my clients all the time, sadness is a natural emotion just like happiness and anger. Its something that will be felt throughout your lifetime and you can't run away from it. Everyone gets sad about something but all you can do is let the emotion run its course.
Got a new intake to do. I guess the best thing about my job is that I hear stories that are far worse than what I'm experiencing and it makes me grateful to be able to go home and feel safe and comforted.
Sadness is emotionally and physically draining. But please, do not confuse sadness with depression. Sadness is caused by a known reason and its temporary. Its not a chemical imbalance. Depression on the other hand, is characterized by prolonged sadness for no known reason, affects daily life activities, and may be caused by a chemical imbalance. I tell my clients all the time, sadness is a natural emotion just like happiness and anger. Its something that will be felt throughout your lifetime and you can't run away from it. Everyone gets sad about something but all you can do is let the emotion run its course.
Got a new intake to do. I guess the best thing about my job is that I hear stories that are far worse than what I'm experiencing and it makes me grateful to be able to go home and feel safe and comforted.
27 March 2009
DSM these nuts!
DSM-IV-TR: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision.
The DSM is the bible for any professionals that work with people and human behavior. It's interesting, yesterday I was at a training and one of the presenters gave a quick blurb about social workers that empowered me and made me proud of my profession. He said, if you need a teeth pulled, you go to a dentist right? You see a specialist for whatever issue you have. He said, Social Workers specialize in Human Behavior. This made me think because I just assumed that people who go into social work already have a knack for reading people and observing their behaviors. I feel priveliged because my undergrad degree in Psychology, and my graduate degree in Social Work really has refined my abilities to sit back and observe a person, listen to them speak about themselves briefly, get a quick 411 on their family dynamics, and come with a diagnosis and treatment plan. As expected, this is extremely easy for me to do when I first meet a person, but I dont have that same capabilitie with long-time friends. First its unethical and second I'm competely biased.
In graduate school one of my classes [Psychopathology] required me to read and memorize the entire DSM. The DSM is 942 pages. Now mind you, my memory is not the best, but, if you are given a topic of interest, its not a task, its a pleasure. I actually ENJOYED reading the DSM and every now and then I take it off my bookshelve and skim the pages, reading all the disorders and symptoms. When I watch SVU and Dr Hong [I think that's his name] diagnoses one of the characters, I usually grab my DSM and verify that he has diagnosed it correctly. I really am a nerd. LOL.
So, I randomly opened my DSM and here is today's diagnosis for the day.
Dissociative Fugue: characterized by sudden, unexpected travel away from home or one's customary place of work, accompanied by an inability to recall one's past and confusion about personal identity or the assumption of a new identity.
Now tell me you arent just blown away by how interesting this is???
The DSM is the bible for any professionals that work with people and human behavior. It's interesting, yesterday I was at a training and one of the presenters gave a quick blurb about social workers that empowered me and made me proud of my profession. He said, if you need a teeth pulled, you go to a dentist right? You see a specialist for whatever issue you have. He said, Social Workers specialize in Human Behavior. This made me think because I just assumed that people who go into social work already have a knack for reading people and observing their behaviors. I feel priveliged because my undergrad degree in Psychology, and my graduate degree in Social Work really has refined my abilities to sit back and observe a person, listen to them speak about themselves briefly, get a quick 411 on their family dynamics, and come with a diagnosis and treatment plan. As expected, this is extremely easy for me to do when I first meet a person, but I dont have that same capabilitie with long-time friends. First its unethical and second I'm competely biased.
In graduate school one of my classes [Psychopathology] required me to read and memorize the entire DSM. The DSM is 942 pages. Now mind you, my memory is not the best, but, if you are given a topic of interest, its not a task, its a pleasure. I actually ENJOYED reading the DSM and every now and then I take it off my bookshelve and skim the pages, reading all the disorders and symptoms. When I watch SVU and Dr Hong [I think that's his name] diagnoses one of the characters, I usually grab my DSM and verify that he has diagnosed it correctly. I really am a nerd. LOL.
So, I randomly opened my DSM and here is today's diagnosis for the day.
Dissociative Fugue: characterized by sudden, unexpected travel away from home or one's customary place of work, accompanied by an inability to recall one's past and confusion about personal identity or the assumption of a new identity.
Now tell me you arent just blown away by how interesting this is???
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